Friday, October 30, 2009

Halloween Special: Scary Inventions

While I strive to be cheery and upbeat here, considering the present holiday I feel it appropriate to mention a few scary things related to fitness.  Reader discretion is advised.

Nautilus Machines and Other Mechanical Marvels
In ancient times people exercised by picking up rocks and swinging on vines, and they were very fit.  Then fancy scientific exercise machines were invented, with pulleys and gears and a padded seat on which to rest, and everyone got weak and flabby.  Fortunately kettlebells and Olympic Rings(and TRX) have been invented, based on prehistoric cave drawings, and fitness is again possible.

The Remote Control
People think that television is a problem, but really it's the remote. Think about it- before the remote, when someone channel surfed, it was jump up, run to the TV, change the channel, run back to the laz-y boy, stretch out. Repeat.  It was like doing Turkish get-ups or burpees with a sprint in the middle.

Von Mies Chair
The Von Mies chair is the best example of a way of sitting, and indeed an entire style, which has wreaked havoc on our postures.  Instead of maintaining the natural tilt of the pelvis and normal curves of the spine, the Von Mies chair rounds the body into an unhealthy lump, giving one the appearance of being crushed under an unbearable load, or perhaps employment as a Notre Dame bell ringer.
Photo grabbed from Vicens on

Deep Fryer
Isn't normal frying is bad enough?

Vitamin Pill
The vitamin pill is the enabler for separating nutrition and food.  Instead of eating healthful food, eat whatever you want, and then take a vitamin, right?  Even when the importance of nutrition is acknowledged, the attempted "solution" is to add vitamins into manufactured food products, rather than to choose and promote actual food with its natural nutritional goodness.

The Drive-Through
Heaven forbid someone should have to walk from their car into the fast food station for their deep fried food-like products.  The drive-through makes it possible for the indolent to procure and consume mass quantities of grease and sugar without ever leaving the comfort their automotive nests and standing upright.



  1. Horrors indeed!

    For me the worst horror is the imprisonment of the office drone on the same chair in front of the same screen for 8 hours a day.

    It is scandalous (and stupid, in terms of productivity) for companies not to provide mobility/stretching areas for employees to use as they wish. Some companies have the occasional massage or yoga session available but people need the opportunity to be mobile every day, several times a day, not once a month.

    More hours are lost to back pain in the UK than any other occupational health issue and yet the majority of companies do absolutely nothing about it.

  2. So true. I rant endlessly about sitting too much, but the office chair and computer are both so ubiquitous and so harmful that I didn't see any humor in mentioning them today.

    I agree that moving and stretching need to be done often- I teach that frequency is more important than duration. Therefore, I emphasize changes in office behavior that aren't too difficult to implement, such as stretches that don't require lying on the floor.